How To Eat An Odd Number of Crackers

It is not easy (because nothing that requires planning can ever be easy)
But it is possible
To eat an odd number of crackers

This is of course to be desired,
because odd numbers carry with them a runner’s-up beauty.
That is proven by the the fact that if you add two odd numbers you get an even number, while adding two even numbers does not result in an odd number.
You could say the odds are against those numbers,
Or that the only way for them to get even, is to lose their identity.
Do you not now see the significance of eating an odd number of crackers?

So now that you know why you should eat an odd number of crackers,
I will tell you my fool-proof process for accomplishing this task.
I’ve done this many times, and it has always worked for me.
The first thing you must do is also the most important:

Eat. One. Cracker.

Do not eat two crackers, or four or six or any other even number,
As this will set a bad precedent.
Eating three or five crackers is also to be avoided, as you may miscount the number of crackers you are eating and may accidentally eat an even number!

Do not run the risk of failure at the start.
Eat just one cracker.

After you have eaten your first cracker
(Or while you are still chewing it in your mouth),
You are ready for the next step.
It is almost as important as the first.

Eat two crackers.

Now of course you can eat four crackers,
Or six,
But you must be certain to always eat an even number of crackers
After you have eaten the first.

So long as you continue this procedure
You are certain to eat an odd number of crackers
Until your desire to eat more crackers
Has subsided

But now I must tell you the most difficult part of this procedure.
It has happened to me on several occasions.

What if you see that you are about to run out of crackers,
And there is an odd number of crackers left to eat?

Fortunately, this has happened to me so many times
That I have thought of a clever way to continue eating an odd number of crackers.

If you are careful as you reach the end of your crackers,
You will see how many you have left to eat.
If you have, say, five crackers left
(Eating all five would cause you to eat an even number, of course) —
Only eat just two, or four,
Leaving one or three crackers for next time.
This all but guarantees you will eat an odd number of crackers in that future time.

So as you can see,
If you are careful and plan properly,
You can always make sure to eat
An odd number of crackers.


2 thoughts on “How To Eat An Odd Number of Crackers

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