I only get disappointed in myself when I lose a bout I know I should have won. When i’m fencing someone who is clearly better than me, my goal is to focus on each touch, try to do something which will negate my opponent’s advantage. Sometimes it works, and I can score an upset win. But a lot of the time it won’t work, meaning I don’t win, but if I at least discover something about myself or my opponent, I can walk away from it with some level of satisfaction. It’s when I just get beat and don’t learn anything that I get disappointed. And when I lose to someone I know I should beat, it bothers me probably more than it should. I don’t accept second-best from myself, and when I don’t have the level of success that I feel I should have, that’s just not acceptable to me. Losing let’s me know what I need to do to improve.